. Det er fanme alverdens ting man kan få lavet nu om dage. 
Nyheder
Se indlæg
 Dagens joke
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 29/12-2016 15:52
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 Ekspert medlem  Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Så fik han lart det....... Right in the middle of lovemaking, the husband dies of a heart attack. As the funeral arrangements are being made, the mortician informs the widow that he cannot get rid of her dead husband's rigor mortis hard-on which is sticking straight up in the air and if they don't do something, it will look odd in the coffin at the funeral. The widow tells the guy to cut it off and stick it up her dear departed's behind. The mortician can't believe his ears but the widow is adamant, so he does it. During the funeral, friends and relatives of the dead man were concerned to see a tear in the corner of his eye, but the widow assured them that there was no cause to be alarmed. Just before the casket is closed, the widow leans in and whispers in the dead man's ear, "It hurts, doesn't it? 
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 30/12-2016 04:55
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Canadian scientists found Traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that Their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by their neighbours, in the weeks that followed, an American Archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times: "American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their Ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Canadians". One week later, the Danish authorities reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in Frederikssund, Jens Olsen, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely f*** all. Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Denmark had already gone wireless." Just makes you bloody proud to be Danish, don't it! "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 30/12-2016 12:30
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat. His wife said, "Where are you going?" He said, "I'm going to the doctor." And she said, "Why? Are you sick?" "No," he said. "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills." So his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting on her sweater and he said, "Where are you going?" She said, "I'm going to the doctor too." He said, "Why?" She said, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm going to get a tetanus shot 
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| JohnBKK |
Lagt på d. 30/12-2016 20:19
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 Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 4361 |
Jeg synes Carrie Fisher fortjener en plads her i "joke tråden" - som jeg synes er totalt slæbende kedsommelig.. Solly, Boes, men det ku´være sjovt at høre noget morsomt fra dig selv Herr Overlæge, no offence, slet ikke, men hold kæft det er gaaab og gaaaaaab og endnu mere gaaaaaaaab her.. Jeg kunne komme på utallige grotesk morsomme, men også tragiske historier fra det danske hospital uvæsen og deres elendige personale. Der kreperer vel nogle tusinde om året - ikke pga. sygdom - men pga. fucking udueligt personale, det kunne være sjovt at høre mere om det, kom med nogle inside rædsler, tak.. Check out en BiPolar dame med en hund ved navn Gary, der ikke kan holde tungen lige i munden, woohaaa!! Frygtelig kedelig tråd den her, grusomt kedelig, jeg har undret mig meget, meget længe over hvad der egentlig foregik, og idag fandt jeg ud af det, sjovt var det sgu ikke.. Redigeret af JohnBKK d. 30/12-2016 20:28 |
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| JohnBKK |
Lagt på d. 30/12-2016 20:34
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 4361 |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 31/12-2016 05:40
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
@JohnBKK Personligt finder jeg det ualmindeligt lavpandet hvis man, som du aabenbart gor, slaeber dig gabende gennem en traad du finder kedelig og ikke underholdende. Frem med dunken og op med humoret Johnnyboy...  Godt nytaar til alle herinde paaTP / Boes "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Dalton |
Lagt på d. 31/12-2016 07:04
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 Øvet medlem  Antal indlæg: 326 |
Dagens tegning fra Jyllands Posten Et stærkt stigende antal børn og unge vil skifte køn.  |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 03/01-2017 10:16
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 04/01-2017 11:50
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
There were twin sisters at the nursing home and they were turning 100 years old. The editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take pictures of the two twins. One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite well. Once the photographer arrived he asked the sisters to sit on the sofa. The deaf sister said to her twin, "What did he say?" Her sister answered, "We've got to sit over there on the sofa." "Now get a little closer together," said the photographer. Again one sister asked, "What did he say?" The sister with good hearing said, "He says squeeze together a little." So, they wiggled up close to each other. "Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer. Yet again, "What did he say?" Her sister said, "He's going to focus!" With a big grin, the deaf twin shouted out, "Oh my God. Both of us?" "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 05/01-2017 12:14
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
A Jewish man and his wife are having dinner at a very fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a long passionate kiss and says to him, "I'll see you later". "Who the hell was that?" says the wife. "That was my mistress." says the husband. "I want a divorce!" says the wife, "This is the last straw! I've had enough." The husband says, "Alright! You'll get your divorce, but just remember this: There will be no more Winters in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more shopping trips to Paris, no more Mercedes in the garage, and no more Yacht Club, no more Harrods Diamond Card, etc. etc. But the decision is yours!" Just then a friend of the husband enters the restaurant with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. "Who's that woman with Moishe?" says the wife. "That's his mistress", says the husband. "His mistress you say? says the wife: Ours is much prettier.". "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 06/01-2017 13:23
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
A man sees a sign outside a house: 'Talking Dog For Sale'....He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden. The man sees a very nice looking Black Labrador Retriever sitting there. "Do you really talk?" He asks the dog. "Yes!" The Labrador replies.... After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, he man asks, "So, tell me your story!" The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS. "In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years, But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired!" The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog. "Ten quid!" The owner says. "£10? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?" "Because he's a lying bastard. He's never been out of the garden!" "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 07/01-2017 05:25
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
"this is a mans car you know..." "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 08/01-2017 10:17
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
A man walks into a church confessional and says to the priest, “Bless me, father, for I have sinned. I was with seven different women last night.” The priest is silent for a moment, then says, “Go home and cut seven lemons in half. Squeeze the juice into a glass and drink it down in one gulp.” “And I’ll be forgiven?” asks the man. “No,” replies the priest, “but it will wipe that smirk off your face.” 
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 09/01-2017 05:01
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
https://www.faceb...351422744/ "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 10/01-2017 08:40
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
One of the guys says to his buddy: "Man you look tired.” His buddy says,“Man I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time. She's after me 3 and 4 times a day, I just don't know what to do." A fellow about my age (60+), sitting a couple of stools down, also overheard the conversation. He looked at the two young men and with the wisdom of many years says: "Marry her. That'll put a stop to that crap." 
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Thomas72 |
Lagt på d. 11/01-2017 15:28
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 Erfarent medlem  Antal indlæg: 1392 |
[img]http://i.imgur.com/28tO8lm.jpg[/img] is not a valid Image.
Til Jer der rejser til Thailand for første gang, pas på!.
Thailand er vanedannende, stærk vanedannende!. Jeg ved hvad Jeg taler om. |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 13/01-2017 08:47
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Gaveide til konen...? "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Dalton |
Lagt på d. 13/01-2017 15:10
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Øvet medlem Antal indlæg: 326 |
To små knægte mødes Den ene snakker noget mærkeligt så den anden spørger: Hvordan er det du snakker? Det er pfordi jeg phar fået psplinter i tungen Nå hvordan er det sket? Jeg phar pslikket f*sse Det får man sgu da ikke splinter i tungen af.. Jo, pfor det var en Peter havde tegnet på et stakit.  |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 15/01-2017 14:24
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Robert , 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Robert should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Robert, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Robert takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep. After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and its Robert, Again he is ready for more action. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are done, Robert kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves. She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it Robert is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25 year old, ready for more action. And, once more they enjoy each other. But as Robert gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Robert. Robert, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: You mean I was here already? "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 17/01-2017 12:05
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
A SMALL GLIMMER OF HOPE IN THE GLOOM ! 'Viagra' is now available in tea bags. It doesn't enhance your sexual performance but it does stop your biscuit going soft. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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