. Det er fanme alverdens ting man kan få lavet nu om dage. 
Nyheder
Se indlæg
 Dagens joke
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 15/09-2016 07:55
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 Ekspert medlem  Antal indlæg: 2688 |
A woman dies and goes to Heaven and finds herself just outside the Pearly Gates. As she peers inside, she sees people she knew from her live on Earth really enjoying themselves, laughing and really having fun. Just then, St Peter comes along and she asks him, “Is this Heaven, how can I get enter the gates?” And, St Peter says, “Yes, this is Heaven. All you have to do is spell one word for me and you may enter”. “What word?” she asks, “Please tell me” “Spell LOVE” replied St Peter “and you may enter”. Relieved, she spells the word and St Peter opens the gates and lets her through. After she had been in Heaven for some time, the woman was comfortable and happy, but she still missed her dear husband back on Earth. As an extra Job, she asked St Peter if she could help him “meet and greet” the newcomers to Heaven, which he agreed to. Imagine her surprise one day when she saw her dear husband at the gate. “Darling” she says, “I thought I would never see you, what have you been doing with yourself, have you been so lonely without me?” “I have been quite busy, after you died I was lonely, and, as I had been quite attracted to the cute nurse that saw you through your last days, we started going out. I married her, and the very next week I won the Lottery, so I gave up work, bought a mansion, have travelled all over the world many times. We were on holiday on the Greek Islands, and I was water ski-ing, when my ski came came off and hit me on the head, so I have ended up here. It looks lovely here, is it easy to get in?” “Oh yes,” says his wife “All you have to do is spell one word correctly. So the husband, excitedly says “What is the word?” and his wife replied, “Czechoslovakia” 
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 16/09-2016 15:17
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said 'Hang on, I have an idea.' He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Shamus said 'Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money at all!' Murphy replied, 'Don't worry - just follow me.' He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky. Shamus said 'Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't even got any money to pay for these drinks !!' Murphy replied, with a smile. 'Don't worry, I have a plan , Cheers! ' They downed their Drinks. Murphy said, 'OK, now here's the plan. I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth.' The barman immediately noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Shamus said 'Murphy - I don't think I can do any more of this. I'm absolutely drunk and me knees are killing me!' Murphy said, 'How do you think I feel? I can't even remember which pub I lost the sausage in. 
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 17/09-2016 10:13
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Obscene Phone Call The phone rings, a woman answers, "Hello". A pervert, with heavy breathing, says, "I bet you have a tight butt with no hair!" The woman replies, "Yes I do, he's watching golf - who shall I say is calling?" "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 17/09-2016 21:00
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 Superadministrator  Antal indlæg: 6782 |
En dansk kebab-butik blev for nyligt ringet op af 'Abdo', der ville klage over maden. Der var dog tale om god gammeldags telefonfis, og det gik ikke helt, som 'Abdo' regnede med. YouTube-brugeren 'Ownage Pranks' er kendt for at ringe til forskellige mennesker og lave telefon-fis. For nyligt ringede han under navnet 'Abdo' til en dansk kebab-butik, fordi han ville klage over at have fået dårlig mave efter at have spist mad fra butikken. Blandt andet hævder han, at han har siddet på toilettet tre dage, og at han uden problemer kan få en lægeerklæring, der siger, at han har fået madforgiftning. Link: http://www.bt.dk/...det-gik-fu Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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| GAMBIT |
Lagt på d. 18/09-2016 02:35
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 Erfarent medlem  Antal indlæg: 1244 |
Webmaster skrev: En dansk kebab-butik blev for nyligt ringet op af 'Abdo', der ville klage over maden. Der var dog tale om god gammeldags telefonfis, og det gik ikke helt, som 'Abdo' regnede med. YouTube-brugeren 'Ownage Pranks' er kendt for at ringe til forskellige mennesker og lave telefon-fis. For nyligt ringede han under navnet 'Abdo' til en dansk kebab-butik, fordi han ville klage over at have fået dårlig mave efter at have spist mad fra butikken. Blandt andet hævder han, at han har siddet på toilettet tre dage, og at han uden problemer kan få en lægeerklæring, der siger, at han har fået madforgiftning. Link: http://www.bt.dk/...det-gik-fu De var helt stand up de fyre i shawarma biksen  Det var opløftende for en gangs skyld at opleve en god opførsel
Too much agreement kills a chat.
- Eldridge Cleaver |
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| GAMBIT |
Lagt på d. 18/09-2016 02:36
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Erfarent medlem Antal indlæg: 1244 |
Too much agreement kills a chat.
- Eldridge Cleaver |
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 18/09-2016 08:09
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Superadministrator Antal indlæg: 6782 |
GAMBIT skrev: Webmaster skrev: En dansk kebab-butik blev for nyligt ringet op af 'Abdo', der ville klage over maden. Der var dog tale om god gammeldags telefonfis, og det gik ikke helt, som 'Abdo' regnede med. YouTube-brugeren 'Ownage Pranks' er kendt for at ringe til forskellige mennesker og lave telefon-fis. For nyligt ringede han under navnet 'Abdo' til en dansk kebab-butik, fordi han ville klage over at have fået dårlig mave efter at have spist mad fra butikken. Blandt andet hævder han, at han har siddet på toilettet tre dage, og at han uden problemer kan få en lægeerklæring, der siger, at han har fået madforgiftning. Link: http://www.bt.dk/...det-gik-fu De var helt stand up de fyre i shawarma biksen Det var opløftende for en gangs skyld at opleve en god opførselJa de får luret ham ret tidligt og fortsætter i fin stil :-) Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 20/09-2016 18:53
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen,"What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?" The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden naked in my trench coat and flash them. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much." Well, the woman was so impressed; she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So twice a day for two weeks she flashed her garden hoping for the best. One day the gentleman was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?" No", she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous." "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 24/09-2016 16:42
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
One for the ladies.... I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctors office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didnt have any time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasnt going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as Im sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, My, we have made an extra effort this morning, havent we? I didnt respond. After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal Some shopping, cleaning, and cooking. After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, Mommy, wheres my washcloth? I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it. Never going back to that doctor again Never. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| hugoboerge |
Lagt på d. 25/09-2016 08:57
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 Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 5534 |
A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks "Hey, Mate! how long before I can get a haircut?" The barber look around the shop and says "about 2 hours," and the guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks..."how long before I can get a haircut?" Again, the barber looks around at shop full of customers and says"about 2 hours." The guy leaves. A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks"how long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says "about an hour and a half". The guy leaves. The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says "Hey, Joey, I'll give you a free cut if you follow that guy and see where he goes." In a little while, Joey comes back into the shop laughing hysterically. The barber says,"this must be good, where did he go when he left here?" Joey says, "To your house!" |
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 25/09-2016 10:43
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Superadministrator Antal indlæg: 6782 |
http://imgur.com/...ry/BBHJABS Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 25/09-2016 13:24
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
A young man named Bill was looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library. He asked a girl: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?" The girl replied in a loud voice ...... "NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!" All the people in the library started staring at Bill, who was deeply embarrassed and moved to another table. After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the man's table and said with a laugh: "I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I bet you felt embarrassed, right?" Bill responded in a loud voice: "$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? .... I`M NOT PAYING YOU THAT MUCH!" All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock. Bill whispered to her: "I study law, and I know how to screw people”. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 25/09-2016 21:23
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Superadministrator Antal indlæg: 6782 |
Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 26/09-2016 04:59
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Ah Nuts... Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The Yellow Labrador turned to the Black Labrador and said, " So why are you here? " The Black Lab replied, " I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed." The Yellow Lab said, " So what's the vet going to do? " " Gonna cut my nuts off " came the reply from the Black Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down." The Black Lab then turned to the Yellow Lab and asked " Why are you here? " The Yellow Lab said, " I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. but I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch." " So what are they going to do to you? " the Black Lab inquired. " Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Yellow Lab said. The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, " Why are you here ? " " I'm a humper," said the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see." Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away." The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, " So, it's nuts off for you too, huh ?” The Great Dane said, " No, apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped!" "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 27/09-2016 06:44
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini Skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn't! So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give little more slack and again was unable to make the step. About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line Picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus. Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero, Screeching at him, "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!" At this the Texan drawled "Well ma'am normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends." "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| birkedhoj |
Lagt på d. 27/09-2016 11:12
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 Meget øvet medlem  Antal indlæg: 738 |
Ja Jørgen Ryg har ikke levet forgæves. eller omvendt.
Flyver PE med THAI altid
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 28/09-2016 08:54
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
You think you have lived to be 80 plus and know who you are, then along comes someone and blows it all to hell! An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight jacket and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked, Are you a real pilot? He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Stearmans, then the early Grummans... flew a Wildcat and Corsair in WWII, and later in the Korean conflict, Banshees and Cougars. I've taught more than 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you? She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.' The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked: "Are you a real pilot?" He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.' "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| vandango |
Lagt på d. 28/09-2016 19:52
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 Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 3980 |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 30/09-2016 06:06
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask. "It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart." "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 02/10-2016 18:14
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Superadministrator Antal indlæg: 6782 |
https://www.faceb...f=NEWSFEED
Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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